


Princess Monster Truck

by Nemhaine42



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Road Trips, bacon sandwiches were had by all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-06
Updated: 2014-06-25
Packaged: 2018-02-03 16:41:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1751489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nemhaine42/pseuds/Nemhaine42
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One of the last things Jane and Darcy were able to requisition from SHIELD was a new van.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

One of the last things Jane and Darcy were able to requisition from SHIELD was a new van. It was some sort of ex-military custom job that was much bigger than their old Pinz in every dimension. The wheel-arches were almost as tall as Darcy. It was also gutsier and came with a lot more bells and whistles, including a few astrophysics-specific optional extras that got Jane very hot under the collar. The only snag with their new all-singing all-dancing monstrosity of a truck? It was sitting waiting for them in a storage warehouse near Willowdale, West Virginia. A publically-owned storage warehouse, thankfully. Because it was hard enough getting a van from a secret paramilitary government agency, nevermind a secret paramilitary government agency that had been infiltrated by neo-Nazis and, technically, no longer existed.

So they kissed goodbye to the idea of having SHIELD ship the van - which Darcy was naming Lily - to Albuquerque and driving it back to Puente Antiguo. Instead, they said hello to the new plan of picking Lily up from West Virginia and driving her all the way back to New Mexico themselves. Twenty-four hours of driving, across eight states and over fifteen-hundred miles? Good thing Darcy liked to drive. And, hey, no SHIELD, no time limit. They could be generous with pit stops and try to enjoy their journey. Darcy, Jane and Erik on a roadtrip to the ass-end of nowhere.

 

*

 

Thor caught up with them outside of St Louis, Missouri. He’d detoured north to pay his Avenger buddies a visit, and filled that rest stop with second-hand stories of the adventures of Captain America, the Black Widow and Falcon.

Three and a half hours after they set off the next morning - just shy of Springfield, Missouri - Thor decided that long car journeys are not comparable to flying or horse riding and begged for fresh air and the opportunity to be sick. So they veered south for a bit and spent the day in a state park, hiking the trails and frightening the wildlife.

Thor and Jane were forbidden from sharing a motel room because Darcy was _not_ rooming with Erik and his tendency to forget certain pieces of apparel. And if Selvig snored any louder, they’d just leave him in the car in future.

 

*

 

They found Clint by the side of the road somewhere in Oklahoma. More specifically, Erik’s phone rang very early, just past Tulsa, which turned out to be Hawkeye calling every number in his contact list that might not be up to their necks in this Hydra-SHIELD shit. He gave them very little in the way of information other than he’d run short of money, they were nearest and could they please look for him in three hours’ time when they passed the section of the I-40 he was wandering down.

When they finally found him, sitting in the shade of a billboard, he had a yellowing bruise on his jaw and some pretty beat-up knuckles. Clint made some non-committal mumbling noises about what he’d been doing so Darcy figured it best not to know and stuffed him in the back seat with the boys. He fell asleep on Thor’s shoulder until they stopped for gas in Texas.

Clint would later confess that he’d called Natasha first, who’d not been immediately available to pick him up and told him Research Team Bifrost would be passing through and he should hitch a ride with them. He told Darcy he’d worried it would have sounded creepy, so he went for sounding desperate instead. He also bought her a lily flower decal for the car, so she forgave him his fib.

“So do you have any kind of destination at all, loser?” Darcy asked him over lunch (sandwiches, chips and cookies purchased from the gas station).

“I’m not really sure I even have a job right now so…” he shrugged and grinned at her, “wherever you’re headed, I’m headed.”

 

*

 

They got pulled over by bored and lonely cops just over the state line. Darcy thanked a wide variety of gods that Clint had swapped the tactical gear he’d been wearing for civvies. And that his bow, tucked in its case, passed for one of the many pieces of scientific equipment piled up in the back. His duffel bag was even the same make as Erik’s. Jane started a ‘brief’ summary of the purpose of their research, which the cops interpreted as ‘nutcase UFO theory’ and sent them on their way.

 

*

 

Instead of stopping for the night when they were homing in on the finish line, Clint offered to drive while Darcy caught some Z’s. There were three trailers waiting for them outside the same defunct car dealership in good ol’ Puente Antiguo. A bigger one for Thor and Jane; Darcy had bought them one of those tacky-ass signs with a “don’t come a-knockin’” sentiment on it. Jane had rolled her eyes but Clint had laughed. Hawkeye was content to be relegated to the old futon in the upstairs office that Selvig had used last time, but Darcy got the feeling he could really use something cosier. She might offer to put him up in her trailer.

Darcy slept through the desert and their arrival into town. She stirred when Thor lifted her out of the car but was happy to let him carry her into her trailer and put her to bed. She woke properly late the next morning to find Thor and Clint trying to inspire life in an old barbecue grill that looked like it was a victim of Thor’s first visit. Darcy foraged coffee and sat next to Jane to listen to Clint explain the finer points of putting bacon on burgers. _What kind of bacon? How much bacon? Do you put the bacon on the top of the burger, underneath it, or both?_ Thor quickly triumphed over the grill and made them bacon sandwiches, six inches thick.

Clint called Natasha to tell her where he was, that he’d be there for the immediate future, and to call him if his job started to exist again. They sent her a group selfie very late at night. She sent one back of Steve and Sam’s butts in jogging pants.

 

 


	2. Fanart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here follows links to five pieces of fan art drawn to accompany this fic.

[Darcy, Jane and Erik on a roadtrip to the ass-end of nowhere. ](http://nemhaine42.tumblr.com/post/88776115739/princess-monster-truck-1-one-of-the-last)

*

[They found Clint by the side of the road somewhere in Oklahoma.](http://nemhaine42.tumblr.com/post/88977859869/princess-monster-truck-2-they-found-clint-by)

*

H[e fell asleep on Thor's shoulder until they stopped for gas in Texas.](http://nemhaine42.tumblr.com/post/89182644244/princess-monster-truck-3-clint-made-some)

*

[They sent her a group selfie very late at night. ](http://nemhaine42.tumblr.com/post/89377259454/princess-monster-truck-4-clint-called)

*

[She sent one back of Steve and Sam's butts in jogging pants. ](http://nemhaine42.tumblr.com/post/89572538874/princess-monster-truck-5-clint-called-natasha)


End file.
